♥ Recipes from Last Night

“Your Sexting Sucks” Peach Raspberry Slump Pie

Peach Raspberry Slump

You are going to get a kick out of this and I hope you can laugh from my irritation. I will post separately about the pathetic nature of people utilizing technology to satiate themselves and never making real connections due to their insecurities or lack of self-awareness.

This pie was inspired by the vast and broad spectrum of wankers (men and women here equally folks) who instead of using technology (chat emails texting online whatever) to enhance their romantic intentions (in an appropriate not lewd fashion) with their intended, choose to get their “fix” at the cost of others not expecting their idiot pool of mental depravity.

If you have to do it, my god have some panache and finesse. Have some style. If you’re over 30 and you cant figure out how to talk to the opposite sex, get a life. Whatever you do, don’t talk to me my friends or the small circle of gal pals I know and love. Most will cut you. Cut you like a  biotch.

Ingredients –

  • 3 cups sliced peaches (about 5)
  • 3/4 cup raspberries
  • 2 tablespoons light brown sugar
  • 4 1/2 tablespoons plus 1/2 teaspoon granulated sugar
  • 2 teaspoons cornstarch
  • 1/8 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
  • Pinch of kosher salt
  • 2 tablespoons chilled unsalted butter, cut into pieces
  • 2 1/2 tablespoons plain nonfat yogurt
  • 2 tablespoons skim milk
  • 1/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract


  1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.
  2. In a 9-inch pie pan, stir together the fruit, brown sugar, 2 tablespoons granulated sugar, the cornstarch, and cinnamon.
  3. In a bowl, stir together the flour, 2 1/2 tablespoons granulated sugar, the baking powder, baking soda, and salt. With a fork, blend in the butter until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs.
  4. In a small bowl, whisk together the yogurt, milk, and vanilla and stir into the flour mixture until just combined. Knead the dough lightly on a work surface and pat lightly until it is about 3/4 inch thick.
  5. Drop the dough in 4 mounds over the fruit, sprinkle the remaining 1/2 teaspoon sugar over the dough, and bake in the middle of the oven until the biscuits are golden and cooked through, about 20 to 25 minutes.

2 thoughts on ““Your Sexting Sucks” Peach Raspberry Slump Pie

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